11.27.2002 5:00 am
ego sum qui sum

woah, it's five a.m.?

"four thirty a.m. on a tuesday, it doesn't get much worse than this. in beds in little rooms in buildings in the middle of these lies which are completely meaningless. help me stay awake, i'm fallin..." -counting crows

i love my friends. thanks, darlings, anna and jason and anthony, for your support of me. that was wonderful to hear from somebody, let alone three people whose opinions I trust. thank you.

i'm sad that the whole competition thing with chris got started in the first place.

i sat and watched the first girl in our oral interp class present her final project today. she was so nervous, you could hear it in her voice. i thought, "gah, all this stupid pressure about the A+ has made even people who can be good readers if they just relax (but who don't strike me as in the upper echelons of the class) nervous. i just want to show the class a piece of myself." it's weird, i think well enough of myself that my highest goal is simply to present as clearly as possible a small corner of who I am to the class. why try to be other than you are? the best i can be is myself, after all. after depression and divorce and private school and relocation and remarriages, after masochism, insomnia, and alcoholism, after love and loss, after living and dying, all i will ever be is myself. not too complicated, my friends. if my greatest expectation of myself is that i be who i am, can i ever fail?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -