12.19.2002 9:00 pm
broken record

i didn't mean to be awful about the singing, and i didn't mean to elicit any apologies from anyone.

I feel lonely. I'm sad. I want to leave and go for a road trip, to find someone who loves me and whom I love back... or some proximity of that relationship... but not parents... but I could drive forever and never find it. i could pretend, with james. but it wouldn't work.

holistic. i should go where i think i should go when i think i should go there. the world will lead me out of this, out of this mess, into a life for myself, perhaps of travelling, perhaps of staying in one place for a long, long time. who knows. not me. but i want to go away, for now. i want to travel migrate move learn listen locomote. but i'm stuck here. the record spinning round and round and *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *shhhk!* days go by and the *fmmmmm, puh*

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