12.30.2002 11:20 pm
fortune laughs

the day before the day before the new year.

good speakers are so important. i can't stress it enough. sometimes i give smooth b a hard time about being an audiophile--and i do think he takes it to an extreme--, but for the love of christ. sound is beautiful. almost as beautiful as emotion.

i just realized that "speakers" has two meanings. i'm talking about the music reproduction devices, not lecturers or--worse--talkers.

christmas was interesting. i feel like mom spent the whole time yelling at me for not taking my classes seriously and not being responsible about the serious fiscal investment she and my father are making in my college education.

i was taking a medication which, unbeknownst to me, makes a person horribly, horribly sick if they ingest alcohol. christmas eve, i drank a glass of wine and a beer. i spent all of christmas in agony, my head pounding worse than i've ever experienced before. it was unreal. i tried to sleep most of the day, but even so, i felt terrible.

now i feel sick to my stomach... i wonder if it isn't fumes from the new rug, whose olfactory artificiality strikes me each time i walk back onto my floor. it could also be my combined anxiety about registering for classes, driving to new york tomorrow after learning that there's an impending ice storm, and planning on cutting off contact with James after this visit. more stories to follow, i'm sure. last year after this annual pilgrimage, i had been deathly ill for ten days and lost at least five pounds. my poor mother rescued me, put me on a ton of antibiotics in the hopes of resurrecting my flailing failing fallen immune system dear god why am i doing this again? it shouldn't be the stale slice of hell that it was lastyear, though. no pesky girlfriends showing up.

fortune smiles at some and laughs at others.

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