04.19.2003 12:15 am
operator?

I don't like getting shafted out of hugs just because somebody has a new pal who's higher up on the list than I am. I hate getting placed second *temporarily*. Same thing as with James and Lindsay. Yeah, Jos. You're second. For now.

I waited all day for a hug.

I got shafted.

Thank God for Jake. He needed hugs due to the recent derth of Kate in his life. I hear that. So I went to borrow his tape measure, and I got an unexpectedly honest and wonderful hug.

"And the reason that she loved him was the reason I loved him too..."

It's my own frickin fault, too. For not being enough. Story of my life. So I move. I am searching for someone for whom what I am is enough. I envy people who can have boyfriends without needing true partners. I'm way too particular to be satisfied in casual relationships.

"Operator, could you help me place this call? See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded. She's living in L.A. with my best old ex-friend Ray, a guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated. Isn't that the way they say it goes? But let's forget all that, and give me the number if you can find it, so I can call just to tell them I'm fine and to show I've overcome the blow. I've learned to take it well. I only wish my words could just convince myself that it just wasn't real... But that's not the way it feels. Operator, could you help me place this call? Cause I can't read the number that you just gave me. There's something in my eyes. You know, it happens every time I think about the love that I thought would save me.... Operator, let's forget about this call. There's no one there I really wanted to talk to. ...You can keep the dime."

-"Operator" by Jim Croce.

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