03.09.2004 11:39 pm
to love

Tonight's rehearsal left me saddened. The song "Hello" by Lionel Richie has lodged itself firmly in my head. Thanks, subconscious. I got the message. Yeah. No, really, I hear you loud and clear: I want to feel loved. But I don't. James loved me. That's... something beyond tenuous. Corey loved me... I thought the feeling from that was related to our "best-friend" status, but I know now that his love was the radiance I felt. Anna used to love me. She still cares for me, but it's different.

It's the kind of thing that, if you think about it too long, really makes you want to die: nobody loves me right now. And I love no one, that's been so for a long time.

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